Offence In 7 Ways – The Power Of Words And Actions

Part I: https://yourskarah.com/understand-offence/

Offence takes root in different ways and forms ranging from subtle slights to overt actions. Offence can come through communication conscious and unconscious as well as actions. The offence is simply an act or a series of acts or actions that lead or cause someone to sin. Whether you know you are causing offence or not is never an excuse. The Bible says in Romans 5:14 that an offence committed in ignorance or willful ignorance is just as abominable as one done with knowledge.

No matter how it is communicated, anything offensive can have a significant impact on the recipient. It can damage relationships, cause emotional distress, and even lead to physical violence. It is important to be aware of the potential for offence and to take steps to avoid causing it. Something dawned on me in the last few days when I was in the same position of awareness that I was about to play a part in the offence.

It was there and then that I realised how we all play a part in being offended, lacking awareness of the happenings, the moment. I said something, I was right. He said something, what is he thinking of me? There and then, I could feel the rage rising higher and higher until I stopped playing the part, of the offended one. As much as different places offence arises, self-questioning is the only thing that leads to a shaken faith, a stumble, a block and thus a fallback in the journey of faith. And being the cause, leading one to fall, leading to the sin of disbelief is sin.

Here are a few ways offences take root

a) Insensitive Remarks

Making comments that target someone’s appearance, background, or personal choices can be hurtful. Whether intentional or not, such remarks can sow the seeds of offence. As much as a person hears of something that will make them doubt who they are and whose, self-confidence is crushed and faith is shaken, something will likely happen.
Example: “You’ve gained some pounds, haven’t you?” “Your name is so hard to pronounce” “You’re being sensitive” You are too old to not be married

b) Offences Caused by Exclusionary Behavior

Deliberately leaving someone out of social activities or important conversations can be a potent form of offence, making the individual feel marginalized
Example: Planning a group event and purposefully not inviting a particular person or simply ignoring someone in a group setting. Let us say you plan an event, and invite all the neighbours except those you simply don’t want at your event
~ talking about someone behind their back, giving someone the silent treatment (a very strong example in today’s world).

c) Betrayal of Trust

Violating someone’s trust by breaking a promise or sharing confidential information can lead to deep-seated offence. As a friend and someone’s confidant, you have no business sharing the third part of what was confided in you but if you do, that will likely backfire.
Whether it is a struggle, (life has many of that ), weakness or just someone’s observation, was shared with you, unless it is a matter of life and death… but going around on do you know so and so has this or this? do you know so said so about so? Or simply, intentional gossip – just there and there disobeying God and just spilling it all over to someone else for fun

d) Offences of Microaggressions

They are usually subtle, and often unintentional (can also be intentional), and expressions of prejudice or bias can make someone feel targeted or invalidated. Also can be about making assumptions on why a certain person is acting the way they act, but minimizing the impact by telling them to brush it off as nothing. Minimalizing other people’s emotions is nothing when they express themselves in a certain way.
Example: Making assumptions about a person’s capabilities based on their gender or ethnicity.
You are too weak as a man, too strong for a woman; you are such a crybaby; you are so soft(weakling) for a man
Making someone question who they are, their identity, and their being. Although these are considered microaggressions, they are the most destructive for they are targeting and specifically, attacking the being of a person. If this person is not so strong in faith, likely to fall back.

e) Ignoring Boundaries

Disregarding personal boundaries, whether physical or emotional, can cause discomfort and offence.
Example: Invading someone’s personal space or prying into their private matters without permission.

• Doing the opposite of what you asked
• Mocking your requests – Failing to respect other people’s journeys in change. Oh now you do so and so, abeg who do you think you are
• Disregarding your values or beliefs
• Getting physical with someone without permission
• Getting into a person’s belongings and living space
• Listening to another person’s private conversations, not only listening but also going about it later with them

Unless they let you in, let the Holy Spirit lead you on how to interact with others or engage them.

f) Sarcasm and Mockery

Using sarcasm or mockery can be offensive, especially when it ridicules someone’s beliefs, opinions, or abilities. Mockery and sarcasm can also be displayed in actions. Mocking a colleague’s idea during a team meeting, undermining their contribution. As simple as I didn’t know you were this bright
A smirk, A raised eyebrow, Rolling of the eyes

g) Discrimination

Treating someone unfairly based on their race, gender, religion, or other characteristics is an offence. Just refusing to promote an employee based on their gender rather than their qualifications. Refusing someone a service because of their origin or colour, where they went to school, beliefs or anything. Refusing to recommend someone just because you think they are not good enough in your eyes. It’s simply just about any standard we think is standard and we use that to evaluate others accordingly.

The standard should always be because are God’s creation, potential vessels and they have room for change, open to learn and become.

Note on Offences

Offences do not have a certain colour or place. It can be caused in any environment in our daily lives, at church and at home. When offended always, be open to re-trace the cause for it. It might fall to something as simple as a matter of context, environment and upbringing.

It’s important to note that the perception of offence can vary from person to person, and what may be offensive to one individual might not be to another. This is because people have different experiences, values, and beliefs. All of this can influence how they interpret and respond to certain words or actions. For example, someone who has experienced discrimination may be more likely to find certain jokes or comments offensive, while someone who has not experienced discrimination may not find them offensive at all.

Open communication and empathy are essential in addressing and preventing offences in various contexts. Open communication allows people to share their experiences and perspectives. This can help to create a greater understanding of why certain things are offensive to some people. Empathy allows people to put themselves in the shoes of others, which can help them understand why certain things might be offensive even if they don’t personally find them offensive. Or just choose to forgive when things are not as we think.

Others on offence.