The Power of Self-Love: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Feeling Selfish

As a Christian, I have come to understand the concept of self-love as an essential part of my faith. It is not selfish to prioritize yourself and take care of your needs. In fact, it is necessary to do so if you want to live a fulfilling life and be of service to others. Self-love involves taking care of your spiritual, emotional, physical, financial, and intellectual needs. In this article, I will discuss the importance of self-love, how to practice it, and how it can lead to a better life.

Understanding the Concept of Self-Love as a Christian

Self-love is often misinterpreted and thus misunderstood leading to it being equated with selfishness. However, as Christians, we are called to love others as ourselves. This means that we cannot love others fully if we do not love ourselves first. In the book of Mark, Jesus says, “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Mark 12:31). This implies that we must love ourselves first before we can love others. We must know who we are and what we need to be able to understand others as people and their needs.

Self-love involves accepting yourself for who you are and recognizing your worth as a child of God. It does not mean that you are perfect, but it means that you are worthy of love and respect. It is important to understand that self-love is not the same as self-centeredness or narcissism. Self-love involves taking care of yourself, while self-centeredness involves prioritizing yourself at the expense of others.

A Broken Heart, Healing & Forgiveness 

Before we can practice self-love, we must heal from any past hurts or traumas. A broken heart can hinder us from experiencing and expressing love and joy in our lives and others.

• ♡ Healing:  Healing involves acknowledging the pain, forgiving ourselves and others, and letting go of the past. 
• ♡ Forgiveness is an essential part of healing. It involves releasing resentment and bitterness towards ourselves and others. Forgiveness does not mean that we forget what happened, but it means that we choose to let go of the hurt and pain. In the book of Colossians, Paul says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).

• ♡ Knowing yourself: Taking time to heal and learn about yourself is an essential part of self-love. It involves understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. It also involves taking care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Learning about yourself involves exploring your interests and passions. It involves trying new things, taking risks, and stepping out of your comfort zone. It also involves setting boundaries and saying no to things that do not serve you.
• ♡ Self-forgiveness: Forgiving ourselves is often harder than forgiving others. We tend to hold onto our mistakes and shortcomings and blame ourselves for our failures. However, forgiving ourselves is essential for our well-being. It involves recognizing that we are human and we make mistakes. It also involves accepting ourselves for who we are, flaws and all. And that mistakes build us up and become stronger with patience, we are better now than before 
• ♡ Letting go: It is essential for our growth and well-being. However, it does not mean that we forget the lessons learned from our past experiences. The past can teach us valuable lessons that can help us navigate our present and future. Letting go of the past involves releasing the negative emotions attached to past experiences. It involves accepting what happened and choosing to move forward. It also involves focusing on the present and future instead of dwelling on the past hurt and pain.

It also involves setting boundaries and saying no to things that do not serve you.

But let’s never forget God always offers us comfort and hope in times of pain and hurt through His Word. This reminds us of God’s love for us and His promise to be with us always. Here are some Bible verses that can help us find peace and love in times of pain and hurt:

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
• Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
• Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Grow & Glow

There is so much growth going on when we choose to become and work towards being the best we can be (allow ourselves to be).  Growth involves identifying dreams, setting goals, having plans and working towards them. It also involves taking care of your relationships personal, communal and contributing to society.

☆ Spiritual growth involves developing a deeper relationship with God. It involves studying the Bible, praying, and going to church, becoming part of church groups. It also involves serving others and being a witness to God’s love through living a life of testimony and joy. 

☆ Physical health involves taking care of your body through exercise, healthy eating, and rest. It also involves taking care of your mental health through therapy, meditation, and self-care.

☆ Emotional health involves managing your emotions and developing healthy coping mechanisms. It also involves building healthy relationships and setting boundaries.

☆ Financial growth involves managing your finances and planning for the future. It involves budgeting, saving, and investing.

☆ Intellectual growth involves learning new skills and knowledge. It also involves challenging yourself and stepping out of your comfort zone.

And as we are becoming the best we are may we hold on to God’s promises as children. Waiting is hard but with hope, trust and faith, we are getting there. Remember:

• Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
• Psalm 27:14 – “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
• Romans 8:24-25 – “For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

As you work on yourself, growing back the wings of self-respect and self-esteem, hold on to the hope that ‘I am never the same’. And even when you notice nothing, keep working on the goals and executing the plans, change is there already the moment you chose to be better. 

Practical Tips for Self-Love

Practising self-love involves taking care of your needs and prioritizing yourself. Here are some practical self-love tips and techniques:

• Practice self-care – take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
• Set boundaries – say no to things that do not serve you and protect your time and energy.
• Express gratitude – focus on the positive things in your life and express gratitude for them.
• Practice forgiveness – forgive yourself and others and let go of the hurt and pain.
• Pursue your passions – explore your interests and passions and do things that bring you joy.
• Surround yourself with positive people – build healthy relationships with people who uplift and support you.

Embracing a Lifelong Journey

Embracing self-love is a lifelong journey that involves healing, learning, and growing. It involves taking care of your spiritual, physical, emotional, financial, and intellectual needs. Also, it involves practising forgiveness, letting go of the past, and waiting for God’s promises. It also involves setting goals, pursuing your passions, and surrounding yourself with positive people.

As Christians, we are called to love others as ourselves. This means that we must prioritize ourselves and take care of our needs so that we can love others fully. Embracing self-love is not selfishness, but it is necessary for our well-being and the well-being of others.

So, embrace self-love and trust in God’s promises for our lives. Let us practice forgiveness, let go of the past, pursue our passions, and surround ourselves with positive people. Let us prioritize ourselves without feeling selfish and love ourselves as God loves us. And with the same love we are loved and love ourselves,  let us love a person next to us (in the moment/right now).