In a world where expectations often dictate the roles and responsibilities of individuals, many people find themselves caught in a cycle of perpetual postponement. The pressure to conform to societal norms, coupled with personal discomfort and a desire to please others, can lead to a continuous delay in pursuing what one truly ought to do. Why then do we tend to prioritize the needs of others over our own? Why do find it easy to work for someone rather than our own? Why is it becoming more and more easy for us to spend time with others but hard on our own? What about our dreams and goals?
The People Pleaser Postponement Syndrome
One of the primary reasons for this tendency to postpone personal goals is the innate desire to please others. For different reasons, we often find ourselves wanting to please others thus putting our needs on the back burner to cater to the expectations and demands of those around us.
Whether it’s family, friends, or colleagues, the fear of disappointing others can become a powerful force driving the decision to postpone one’s priorities. We want to look good to the people we associate with, colleagues, bosses, and parents and we often justify giving up what we should be doing to accommodate their needs. And this is mostly not good.
Ever heard of; I did this for you…, I gave up my dreams for you…, I…. for you. Regret and guilt are usually the outcomes. As much as we want to serve, do it in a good measure and without motive.
The Comfort Zone Postponement Conundrum
Another significant factor can be the comfort zone conundrum. Stepping out of one’s comfort zone is never an easy task, and for many people, the discomfort associated with pursuing personal goals can be a major deterrent. Whether it’s starting a new project, pursuing a passion, or taking on a leadership role, the fear of the unknown can lead to a continuous delay in taking that crucial first step.
It is comfortable when life is as it is. You have set your little schedule that involves nothing much. When something is happening and pushes you out of it, it is easy to notice how hard life becomes. You have been working for years, building yourself, your brand or your business. When something happens suddenly shifting things up, you are easy and vulnerable to breakdown.
And most of us are never ready for change or even accepting change. But what if it or the right time for it, will you continue to reject it pushing it away? Or will you learn to take a leap and yes live a day as it comes?
Let it not come to the point that, everything is stripped away for you to know it is the right time for it.
Comparison and Insecurity and Postponement
As much as we do not want to accept it, we often find ourselves trapped in the comparison game, constantly measuring our abilities against others. And this comparison usually breeds a sense of inadequacy and insecurity, making it challenging to muster the confidence needed to achieve personal goals. As a result, the inclination to prioritize others over oneself becomes a coping mechanism to avoid confronting these feelings of self-doubt.
It is not that you can not do what you want, but you are afraid that it will turn out not as perfect as you think it ought to be. Let us say, you are a designer or writer. You have this grand idea, epic story that you feel with everything within you that will work. But then comparison kicks in with self-doubt holding hands, literally. Oh her idea is better…. you can not do this… give up
You begin telling yourself how impossible it is even to sketch something or draft the story. You end up doing nothing, nothing gets done and no one ever knows anything.
The funny thing, someone somewhere always thinks to the same point and gets the job done. And we end up saying, I had the same idea. Well you did, you just did not act on them.
Your dreams are just as valid and important as anyone else’s, and it’s never too late to start prioritizing yourself. Because we all have been given to help and build the same body, through and in Christ Jesus.
Karah ^ ^
Overcoming the Postponement Cycle
Breaking free from this cycle requires a conscious effort to prioritize your own needs and aspirations. Here are a few strategies to consider:
1. Self-reflection: Take the time to reflect on your own goals and aspirations. Understand the importance of prioritizing yourself and acknowledge the impact it can have on your overall well-being.
2. Set boundaries: Learn to say ‘no’ when necessary and establish clear boundaries. It’s crucial to communicate your own needs and limitations to others, ensuring a balance between giving and receiving.
3. Challenge your comfort zone: Embrace discomfort as a natural part of growth. Take small steps outside your comfort zone, gradually expanding your capabilities and building confidence in pursuing your goals.
4. Celebrate small victories: Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement can boost your self-esteem and motivate you to continue prioritizing your own needs.
What to Do?
Reminder 1: Galatians 1:10 (NIV) – “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This can be your to-go Word whenever you feel like your focus on helping or doing something is looking good to the people around you. This should resonate deep down. The reason for everything you do should be for people to know Christ, this way, your manner and attitude toward yourself and your serving will be the same.
Seek the approval of God always.
Reminder 2: Joshua 1:9 (NIV) – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” We all have been entrusted with something to do in the Kingdom of God. And here on earth, the goal is simple. To be and live as faithful servants, children and stewards leading each other to know Christ.
As grand as it sounds: that little business idea you have that will improve people’s lives; that song that will uplift someone to live; that story that will teach someone about self-respect; or simply that food idea that will encourage someone to take care of their vessels (bodies). This is all serving others as well. That which is pure, holy righteous, it is godly.
So
So, the next time God directs you to do something, as small as it can be, do it. We learn to trust God and obey Him in the small things for us to openly believe when He is moving big things. And like little children, pray that short prayer believing. Share with others that one Word God spoke to you. And yes, share that testimony. You know He did. He moved for you and gave you a good, peaceful and sunny day. It is when you believe, that He moves. Faith.
Believe.
What else
Reminder 3: When you feel like you are not enough, remember what David said. It is not in what we see that we know God has us in His mind, but because we are here, we know for sure He is with us, Emmanuel. And each of us is loved by God the same.
Psalm 139:14 (NIV) – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” So, when your thoughts convince you otherwise, praise Him because you are His, claim it believing. Because you are.
You are enough. You are loved. And yes, you are cherished. As long as you are here, His love, life and presence will be with you. Acknowledge Him, believe Him. And with that simple idea He has given you to think of, ask Him to direct you on how to live, work, and bring it to life. For His glory.
Praise God.
Final Word
It’s time we break free from the cycle of postponement and prioritize our aspirations. By overcoming the fear of displeasing others, stepping out of their comfort zone, and embracing personal growth, we can empower ourselves to lead fulfilling lives that align with our true passions and desires.
Remember, your dreams are just as valid and important as anyone else’s, and it’s never too late to start prioritizing yourself.
And just like Proverbs 16:3 (NIV) directs – “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Also, Philippians 4:13 (NIV) – “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Commit all your ways and everything you do and He will surely anchor you and everything you do in and for Him. And yes, all things will surely come to pass for His glory. LIVE.
For more Word and a reminder on how you can keep going in this journey, click here.
Discover more from Yours, Karah
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